We won't sleep together?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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