I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
