its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
