Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pants are for mortals
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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