ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize