I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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