Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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