I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
