yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
