remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
