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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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