This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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