I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
