Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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