I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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