so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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