like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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