Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
