Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school

(1-309): View more from Illinois

awkward

(309): View more from Illinois

no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.

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(309): so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school (1-309): awkward (309): no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/y6uz

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(251): View more from Alabama

i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.

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(251): i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night. http://tfl.nu/skue

Replies (20) Good night (544) Bad night (3738)
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(207): View more from Maine

No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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(207): No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have. http://tfl.nu/1nc6

Replies (51) Good night (1474) Bad night (3549)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

The beer is more important than you right now.

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(778): The beer is more important than you right now. http://tfl.nu/guwa

Replies (8) Good night (3562) Bad night (1333)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.

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(814): i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof. http://tfl.nu/24gw

Replies (16) Good night (1109) Bad night (4820)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.

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(810): I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours. http://tfl.nu/82rg

Replies (4) Good night (982) Bad night (2231)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.

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(508): Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated. http://tfl.nu/0bri

Replies (18) Good night (4342) Bad night (742)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I feel strange, like something is off with my body

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

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(604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p

Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (479)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.

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(334): Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize. http://tfl.nu/dbij

Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (564)
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(330): View more from Ohio

151 hangover. Need apocalypse.

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(330): 151 hangover. Need apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/xu7i

Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (436)
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(917): View more from New York City

i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON

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(917): i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON http://tfl.nu/vk8e

Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (495)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I can't turn off my feet"

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(419): I can't turn off my feet" http://tfl.nu/fr6o

Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (247)
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(425): View more from Washington

My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

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(425): My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way... http://tfl.nu/ehz3

Replies (11) Good night (727) Bad night (360)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."

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(586): I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone." http://tfl.nu/272w

Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (270)
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(818): View more from California

It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket

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(818): It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket http://tfl.nu/tfcl

Replies (0) Good night (272) Bad night (648)

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