Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So how was he last night?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Five-minute foot-long.

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  (508): So how was he last night? (617): Five-minute foot-long. http://tfl.nu/89p0
  Replies (29) Good night (734) Bad night (1377)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  only room for one pussy in that bed.

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  (262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy. (612): only room for one pussy in that bed. http://tfl.nu/8gho
  Replies (9) Good night (799) Bad night (2320)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering

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  (713): PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering http://tfl.nu/lhmy
  Replies (39) Good night (673) Bad night (3384)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

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  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (5844) Bad night (660)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.

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  (248): I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory. http://tfl.nu/kmrf
  Replies (4) Good night (4093) Bad night (1127)
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  (310): View more from California

  He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

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  (310): He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/jh5k
  Replies (17) Good night (724) Bad night (3559)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.

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  (720): i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out. http://tfl.nu/xm4r
  Replies (13) Good night (3718) Bad night (1231)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails

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  (313): well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails http://tfl.nu/6yhu
  Replies (9) Good night (1026) Bad night (3332)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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  (724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm
  Replies (20) Good night (4643) Bad night (1822)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3444) Bad night (555)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in

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  (814): currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight (814): I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in http://tfl.nu/2u0u
  Replies (17) Good night (748) Bad night (1508)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?

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  (914): He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike (1-914): Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles? http://tfl.nu/k5nf
  Replies (1) Good night (1702) Bad night (374)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom

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  (506): I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom http://tfl.nu/kne6
  Replies (14) Good night (504) Bad night (2286)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"

  (682): View more from Texas

  God please dont post that to facebook.

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  (817): you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe" (682): God please dont post that to facebook. http://tfl.nu/pwe8
  Replies (3) Good night (327) Bad night (372)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.

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  (705): Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah. http://tfl.nu/1cng
  Replies (2) Good night (187) Bad night (284)

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