I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
