I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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