Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.