It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
