The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
