i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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