Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
