And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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