so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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