You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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