I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
