so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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