There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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