butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
