just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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