the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
being pregnant is like rehab
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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