Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
