Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
