Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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