i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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