I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
