new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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