ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
