So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
