i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
