Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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