Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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