Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
