he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
