I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
