dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
