I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
