I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
