I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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