Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize