Don't make out with my wife yet
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
