Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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