It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
