Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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