I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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