is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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