im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
