Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
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The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize